Goddess Soma Blog
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So I have not been keeping up on the zillions of social networking and blog sites I am on. My blog entries will be updated very occasionally on here. My main blog currently is on GoddessSoma.com


Newsweek Article on Poly
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Only You. And You. And You.

Polyamory—relationships with multiple, mutually consenting partners—has a coming-out party.

By Jessica Bennett | Newsweek Web Exclusive
Jul 29, 2009 Greenan and her boyfriend, Matt, are enjoying a rare day of Seattle sun, sharing a beet carpaccio on the patio of a local restaurant. Matt holds Terisa's hand, as his 6-year-old son squeezes in between the couple to give Terisa a kiss. His mother, Vera, looks over and smiles; she's there with her boyfriend, Larry. Suddenly it starts to rain, and the group must move inside. In the process, they rearrange themselves: Matt's hand touches Vera's leg. Terisa gives Larry a kiss. The child, seemingly unconcerned, puts his arms around his mother and digs into his meal.

Terisa and Matt and Vera and Larry—along with Scott, who's also at this dinner—are not swingers, per se; they aren't pursuing casual sex. Nor are they polygamists of the sort portrayed on HBO's Big Love; they aren't religious, and they don't have multiple wives. But they do believe in "ethical nonmonogamy," or engaging in loving, intimate relationships with more than one person—based upon the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. They are polyamorous, to use the term of art applied to multiple-partner families like theirs, and they wouldn't want to live any other way.

Terisa, 41, is at the center of this particular polyamorous cluster. A filmmaker and actress, she is well-spoken, slender and attractive, with dark, shoulder-length hair, porcelain skin—and a powerful need for attention. Twelve years ago, she started datingScott, a writer and classical-album merchant. A couple years later, Scott introduced her to Larry, a software developer at Microsoft, and the two quickly fell in love, with Scott's assent. The three have been living together for a decade now, but continue to date others casually on the side. Recently, Terisa decided to add Matt, a London transplant to Seattle, to the mix. Matt's wife, Vera, was OK with that; soon, she was dating Terisa's husband, Larry. If Scott starts feeling neglected, he can call the woman he's been dating casually on the side. Everyone in this group is heterosexual, and they insist they never sleep with more than one person at a time.

It's enough to make any monogamist's head spin. But the traditionalists had better get used to it.

Researchers are just beginning to study the phenomenon, but the few who do estimate that openly polyamorous families in the United States number more than half a million, with thriving contingents in nearly every major city. Over the past year, books like Open, by journalist Jenny Block; Opening Up, by sex columnist Tristan Taormino; and an updated version of The Ethical Slut—widely considered the modern "poly" Bible—have helped publicize the concept. Today there are poly blogs and podcasts, local get-togethers, and an online polyamory magazine called Loving More with 15,000 regular readers. Celebrities like actress Tilda Swinton and Carla Bruni, the first lady of France, have voiced support for nonmonogamy, while Greenan herself has become somewhat of an unofficial spokesperson, as the creator of a comic Web series about the practice—called "Family"—that's loosely based on her life. "There have always been some loud-mouthed ironclads talking about the labors of monogamy and multiple-partner relationships," says Ken Haslam, a retired anesthesiologist who curates a polyamory library at the Indiana University-based Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction. "But finally, with the Internet, the thing has really come about."

With polyamorists' higher profile has come some growing pains. The majority of them don't seem particularly interested in pressing a political agenda; the joke in the community is that the complexities of their relationships leave little time for activism. But they are beginning to show up on the radar screen of the religious right, some of whose leaders have publicly condemned polyamory as one of a host of deviant behaviors sure to become normalized if gay marriage wins federal sanction. "This group is really rising up from the underground, emboldened by the success of the gay-marriage movement," says Glenn Stanton, the director of family studies for Focus on the Family, an evangelical Christian group. "And while there's part of me that says, 'Oh, my goodness, I don't think I could see them make grounds,' there's another part of me that says, 'Well, just watch them.' "

Conservatives are not alone in watching warily. Gay-marriage advocates have become leery of public association with the poly cause—lest it give their enemies ammunition. As Andrew Sullivan, the Atlantic columnist, wrote recently, "I believe that someone's sexual orientation is a deeper issue than the number of people they want to express that orientation with." In other words, polyamory is a choice; homosexuality is not. It's these dynamics that have made polyamory, as longtime poly advocate Anita Wagner puts it, "the political football in the culture war as it relates to same-sex marriage."
Polys themselves are not visibly crusading for their civil rights. But there is one policy issue rousing concern: legal precedents concerning their ability to parent. Custody battles among poly parents are not uncommon; the most public of them was a 1999 case in which a 22-year-old Tennessee woman lost rights to parent her daughter after outing herself on an MTV documentary. Anecdotally, research shows that children can do well in poly families—as long as they're in a stable home with loving parents, says Elisabeth Sheff, a sociologist at Georgia State University, who is conducting the first large-scale study of children of poly parents, which has been ongoing for a decade. But because academia is only beginning to study the phenomenon—Sheff's study is too recent to have drawn conclusions about the children's well-being over time—there is little data to support that notion in court. Today, the nonprofit Polyamory Society posts a warning to parents on its Web site: If your PolyFamily has children, please do not put your children and family at risk by coming out to the public or by being interviewed [by] the press!

The notion of multiple-partner relationships is as old as the human race itself. But polyamorists trace the foundation of their movement to the utopian Oneida commune of upstate New York, founded in 1848 by Yale theologian John Humphrey Noyes. Noyes believed in a kind of communalism he hoped would fix relations between men and women; both genders had equal voice in community governance, and every man was considered to be married to every woman. But it wasn't until the late-1960s and 1970s "free love" movement that polyamory truly came into vogue; when books like Open Marriage topped best-seller lists and groups like the North American Swingers Club began experimenting with the concept. The term "polyamory," coined in the 1990s, popped up in both the Merriam-Webster and Oxford English dictionaries in 2006.

Polyamory might sound like heaven to some: a variety of partners, adding spice and a respite from the familiarity and boredom that's doomed many a traditional couple. But humans are hard-wired to be jealous, and though it may be possible to overcome it, polyamorous couples are "fighting Mother Nature" when they try, says biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, a professor at Rutgers University who has long studied the chemistry of love. Polys say they aren't so much denying their biological instincts as insisting they can work around them—through open communication, patience, and honesty. Polys call this process "compersion"—or learning to find personal fulfillment in the emotional and sexual satisfaction of your partner, even if you're not the one doing the satisfying. "It's about making sure that everybody's needs are met, including your own," says Terisa. "And that's not always easy, but it's part of the fun."

It's complicated, to say the least: tending to the needs of multiple partners, figuring out what to tell the kids, making sure that nobody's feelings are hurt. "I like to call it polyagony," jokes Haslam, the Kinsey researcher, who is himself polyamorous. "It works for some perfectly, and for others it's a f--king disaster."

Some polyamorists are married with multiple love interests, while others practice informal group marriage. Some have group sex—and many are bisexual—while those like Greenan have a series of heterosexual, one-on-one relationships. Still others don't identify as poly but live a recognizably poly lifestyle. Terisa describes her particular cluster as a "triad," for the number of people involved, and a "vee" for its organization, with Terisa at the center (the point of the V) and her two primary partners, Scott and Larry (who are not intimate with each other) as the tips of each arm. Other poly vocabulary exists, too: "spice" is the plural of "spouse"; "polygeometry" is how a polyamorous group describes their connections; "polyfidelitous" refers to folks who don't date outside their menage; and a "quad" is a four-member poly group.

It's easy to dismiss polyamory as a kind of frat-house fantasy gone wild. But in truth, the community has a decidedly feminist bent: women have been central to its creation, and "gender equality" is a publicly recognized tenet of the practice. Terisa herself is proof of that proposition, as the center of her cluster. She, Scott, and Larry have all been polyamorous since meeting in the Bay Area in the '90s, where they were all involved with the same theater community.

Terisa and Scott started dating first. Both were getting out of long-term monogamous relationships—Terisa had been married for six years—and knew they wanted something different. They fell in love, and though they were committed, they began dating around. Two years in, Scott introduced her to Larry, a pit violinist and mutual acquaintance. When Larry was offered the Microsoft job in Seattle, he asked Terisa and Scott to go with him. "We were like, 'Wow, are we really going to do this?' " Terisa remembers. "And we sort of just said, 'Well let's jump in!' "

It wasn't long before they realized there was a thriving community of Seattleites living the same way. There were local outings, monthly poly potlucks, and a Sea-Poly e-mail list that served to keep everyone informed. Larry even found a poly club for Microsoft employees—listed openly on the company's internal Web site. (Microsoft declined to comment on the message board, or whether it still exists.) The trio has been together ever since, and they share a lakeside home in Seattle's Mt. Baker neighborhood, where they have a vegetable garden and three dogs. They often go on walks along the lake, hand in hand in hand. "I think if we were all given a choice, everyone would choose some form of open relationship," Scott explains, sitting in the family's hillside gazebo overlooking Lake Washington. "And I just like variety," Terisa chimes in, laughing. "I get bored!"

The trio have had emotional moments. Scott had a hard time the first time he heard Larry called Terisa "sweetie" nine years ago. Larry was nervous when Terisa began semiseriously dating somebody outside the group. There are times when Scott has had to put up with hearing his girlfriend have sex with someone else in the home they share. And there have been moments when each of them have felt neglected in their own way. But they agreed early on that they weren't going to be sexually monogamous, and they are open about their affairs. "So it's not as if anybody is betraying anybody else's trust," says Larry.

There are, of course, some things that are personal. "Terisa doesn't tell me a lot of the private stuff between her and Matt, and I respect that," says Scott. When there are twinges of jealousy, they talk them out—by getting to the root of what's causing the feeling. "It's one of those things that sounds really basic, but I think a lot of people in conventional relationships don't take the time to actually tell their partner when they're feeling dissatisfied in some way," says Terisa. "And sometimes it's as simple as saying, 'Hey, Larry,' or 'Hey, Scott, I really want to have dinner alone with you tonight—I'm feeling neglected.' We really don't let anything go unsaid." As Haslam puts it: "It's all very straight forward if everybody is just honest about what's going on in their brains—and between their legs."

Larry and Terisa married last year—with Scott's permission—in part for tax purposes. Larry owns the house they all live in, and Scott pays rent. Household expenses require a complicated spreadsheet. Terisa, Larry, and Scott all have their own bedrooms, but sleeping arrangements must be discussed. Larry snores, so Terisa spends most nights with Scott—which means she must be mindful of making up for lost time with Larry. Terisa and Larry only recently began dating Matt and Vera, after meeting on Facebook, and now every Friday, the couple bring their son over to the house and the three of them stay all weekend. Matt will usually sleep with Terisa, and Vera with Larry, or they'll switch it up, depending on how everyone feels.

The child, meanwhile, has his own room. And he's clearly the most delicate part of the equation. Matt and Vera have asked NEWSWEEK not to use their last names—or the name of their child—for fear, even in liberal Seattle, they might draw unwanted attention. Though Terisa doesn't have children—and doesn't want them—she adores Matt and Vera's son, who calls her Auntie. Recently, the child asked his father who he loved more: Mommy or Terisa. "I said, 'Of course I love momma more,' because that's the answer he needed to hear," Matt says. He and Vera say they are honest with him, in an age-appropriate way. "We don't do anything any regular parents of a 6-year-old wouldn't do," he says. For the moment, it seems to be working. The child is happy, and there are two extra people to help him with his homework, or to pick him up or drop him off at school. They expect the questions to increase with age, but in the long run, "what's healthy for children is stability," says Fischer, the anthropologist.

It's a new paradigm, certainly—and it does break some rules. "Polyamory scares people—it shakes up their world view," says Allena Gabosch, the director of the Seattle-based Center for Sex Positive Culture. But perhaps the practice is more natural than we think: a response to the challenges of monogamous relationships, whose shortcomings—in a culture where divorce has become a commonplace—are clear. Everyone in a relationship wrestles at some point with an eternal question: can one person really satisfy every need? Polyamorists think the answer is obvious—and that it's only a matter of time before the monogamous world sees there's more than one way to live and love. "The people I feel sorry for are the ones who don't ever realize they have any other choices beyond the traditional options society presents," says Scott. "To look at an option like polyamory and say 'That's not for me' is fine. To look at it and not realize you can choose it is just sad."

© 2009

East Coast Filth and Fury
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I am headed to North Carolina tomorrow. Dancing at Victoria's Caberet in Fayettesville Sunday night. Come see Me! (June 21st).

June 22 Wilmington

June 23 Virginia!!!! Going to see My friends!!!

June 24-27 Washington DC (available for shoots and sessions.)

Support Meister Schmerz after His home burned down
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A few weeks ago O/our friend, Meister Schmerz of CoRE and Servitus LA, lost His loft apartment to a fire. The fire destroyed His office, His dungeon and many of His personal items. His characteristic humor and deviance continue to shine through, despite the obvious devastation. He's been heard saying multiple times, "I made it out with some of Orpheus' fire sticks and some Vintage Rope, what more do I need?" Meister Schmerz is the Director for CoRE LA. All of CoRE LA's tools were lost in the fire also.

W/we feel it is important for the Community to reach out to Meister Schmerz and CoRE in this difficult time. Servitus LA and Broken Door are joining forces with O/other members of the community to throw a benefit event for Meister Schmerz and CoRE. The theme of the event is a "Camp Schmerz in Montecarlo". There will be Blackjack, pool play, a slave and Domme auction, clothing and toy auction, BBQ, DJ and dancing.

We invite you to come celebrate with U/us and raise money for Meister Schmerz and CoRE LA.

Date: June 7
Time: 2pm.-9pm.
Location: Lair De Sade
6628 Lankershim blvd. North Hollywood , CA.

Companies donating time and resources to the event: (More to be announced)

Broken Door
Dungeon Servitus and Servitus LA
Mistress Cyan
PKL Industries
The Academy for Sissies
Downtown Willy
Severe Society
Smutty Productions
Baad Master
Paindancer Photography
Downtown Foto
Packman Photography
Blackula Photography
Joe Rohraff Photography
Alter Ego Leather
Sir Skipdog Tattoos

Note: some of the lovely PKL girls will be available for auction at 5:00 pm

Shooting with JP The Pope of Dungeon Corp, video by Randy of Dungeon Corp
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Severe Society Film Review
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Severe Society cinema

Severe Society Films is a production company dedicated to a realistic representation of Fetish, and it therefore comes as no surprise that the camerawork on their release, The Whip Master’s Assistant, by the triumvirate of Jimmy Broadway, Kevin Bean and Claire McKay, is strictly objective, with only an occasionally intercut close up.

Although the object of our attention in this scene is Angelica, whose pale, white skin is beaten beet red, so much so that it actually lets off steam, as she gets flogged good and proper, and, with the cold steel of a sword lain across her neck (and between her thighs), “wants to be Anne Bolyn,” the actual star of this enterprise is Sir Nik, who is a real Lash LaRue, striping the back of his Assistant with the bullwhip, and using his riding crop for precision work.

Directed by Mistress D and Sir Nik himself, the Alt Dom uses knife play as psychologic foreplay, and flavors a trendy dungeon by coloring it dramatic black and red. But the focus, from first to last, remains on the performance art.

Short, but intense, is the featurette, on the same disc, Spanked, featuring Karina Kay, who acquiesces to a largely bare handed ass beating (augmented by a paddle and riding crop) astride an Iron Cross chair, which leaves her behind as red as Sir Nik’s dyed red hair, who administers his discipline with manicured and painted nails. Again, with the exception of intercut close ups, the camera stands stock-still.

But this disc was but a warm up for a second release we witnessed, the scintillating Proud to be a slave, which features ensemble work spectacularly performed by Goddess Soma, who, sporting elaborate tattoos and a flogging technique similar to Sir Nik’s, gives a clinical display of professional Domination and the cutely butch, pouty boi; the action defines the S and M experience to be a quasi-military one (“Stand up straight, soldier!” and “Chin up! Shoulders back! Be proud to be a slave!”).

Attention is paid to the psychology of the Lifestyle. In reaching her masochistic plateau, fueled by the sexual arousal fear produces in women, boi is encouraged by her Mistress/Goddess to “relax your mind and stop feeling sorry for yourself, crybaby.” Not only is sensory deprivation employed (boi being bandaged), but other, potent senses are engaged (“Smell your submission, slutty boi”).

Very feminine beneath her butch exterior, eloquently voiced by her female-to-male transvestitism, boi realizes she “is in big trouble now,” is, with the hint of the Modern Primitive about her, beaten black and blue in a production that contains more corporal punishment than is often the case in Fetish. The dialectic that is BDSM is voiced by face slapping followed by a kiss before more pain.

On her way to the Big Ouwie, boi endures fire play, with her meaty privates consumed by flames, warmed suction cups and the Hitachi wand; she ends up screaming wildly before begging for more. “Proving her love” for Soma before retiring to her cage for a nap, after being reduced to tears, boi ends up in a straight jacket, which also serves as a way of coming down from the high of her experience, before ending up at, and worshipping the feet of, her Goddess (“Why are you here?” “Because i want to be.”). The film’s conclusion, with boi confined to a wheelchair guided by Soma, is filled with mordant wit, with the sub presented as the Domme’s patient (which, in the professional sense, she is.).

The direction of Jimmy Broadway is quietly and unassumedly accomplished, objective, yet dollying in on Boi’s bandaged face theatrically. The editing of Mistress D does a good job of getting us up close and personal, when required.

Notes from the Underground, these titles, and more, can be obtained through aebn.net and Stockroom.com.

Anal Sex
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On May 16, Dungeon Servitus presents: Gender Deviance with Widow Centauri
Time: 6-8pm with a small play session from 8-10pm
Cost: $10 per person
Location: Dungeon Servitus, San Diego, CA

What is covered in the Anal Sex workshop?Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Anal Sex But Were Afraid To Ask I encourage woman (and men!) who have been terrified to engage in anal sex to come to this class. Bring your lovers and prepare to have anal sex demystified. The social, political and psychological ramifications of sodomy will be discussed. We will cover the attractiveness of anal sex and how to engage in it without concern or trouble. Anyone who has ever wanted to (or been asked to) engage in posterior pleasures is invited. Bring your questions. Who is the Widow Centauri? The Widow Centauri is a professional dominatrix, sex educator, author, and funny person. She currently resides in Southern California and travels extensively. She has a degree in Creative Writing from Antioch University and was kicked out of the Second City Conservatory after failing the pop culture interrogation. The Widow Centauri is a bubbly, vibrant, electric, spontaneous, funny, clever, bizarre, comedic force. Widow Centauri has been seen on Comedy Central, Showtime, and Playboy TV. She has entertained audiences at The Laugh Factory, The Improv, The Comedy Store, and clubs across the country

How do I attend? RSVP to SwitchSybil@gmail.com

Joe Stein: His Life as a "very naughty boy"
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I generally live My life seeking peace and trying to take the high road. For the most part, I do not make public statements of mistrust, dislike, or disapproval of others. I don't generally sling mud. Every once in a while someone comes along...like Joe Stein and then all bets are off.
Joe Stein wrote an article in the LA Magazine recently about O/our scene. The header to the article claims, "Writer Joel Stein sets out to expand his horizons—or at least pick up a trick or two—in the city’s erogenous zones". No doubt this tasty little teaser was to entice people to read, but I would argue that Joe Stein was not out to "expand his horizons" as his tone through the whole article was that of a man who was uncomfortable with his and E/everyone else’s sexuality he came into contact with. Sure, the article tries to be endearing and humorous, maybe even a little scandalous at times. But the only people he tries to endear the reader to are himself and his apparently lovely wife. He does not write the article with the intent to tantalize as much as to make O/our community look ridiculous, unattractive and full of fat ugly P/people who he is either repulsed by or finds ridiculous and unintelligent.
In his words: "His partner, also in her forties, was on the heavy side and carried a cane because she’d broken her hip. After hobbling around the store with Emerick to find an outfit, she returned wearing only a black thong and a black camisole, holding a paddle, a whip, bondage tape, and a blindfold. I desperately wanted that blindfold."
I would also argue that he didn't seem to "pick up a trick or two" except learning how to masturbate with a flashlight shaped sex toy and learning that his wife seemed to think rope play was a valid form of erotic art.
Listening to Joe Stein again: "Shaped like a flashlight, it has a removable top that hides a vagina-shaped latex entry for very lonely men to make sweet love to. I have never put my penis in anything nonhuman—no pies, no veal cutlets, no inflatable sheep—having always believed deeply that if there’s one thing men don’t need help with, it’s masturbating. So I stared at my Fleshlight nervously for weeks before I had the guts to touch it. It was, to my shock, an improvement upon my 37 years of expertise. The improvement, however, was outweighed by the fact that I now had to think of myself as a guy who had his way with flashlights."....
I was going to try and stay away from name calling. I know it's not very evolved or attractive...but I'm feeling the burn of full rant in My stomach and the words just want to come out so badly! My first impression after reading his witty little article was, "What a condescending, judgmental, vicious little prick!"
"If I had to pick one word to describe what it feels like to wear latex, it would be “supergay.” If I had two, it would be “supergay supergay.” I had to apply lube to my body to squeeze into it and more lube to the outside of my outfit to make it shine. But it did do a nice job of corseting me in a way that made me appear thinner and as if I actually have muscles. Like I said, “supergay.” I also learned that in the BDSM community different-colored clothing means different things: Red piping signifies that I’m into fisting, yellow that I enjoy playing with urine, blue that I like uniforms, and gray that I’m sort of a fetish generalist. BDSM fans, quite obviously, don’t have much time for talking."
Not only does he find the need to make cutting little remarks about O/our community as a whole, use descriptions that come dangerously close to homophobia, and call P/people out on physicality...he feels the need to turn every Dom/me listed in his article into a nasty parody of themselves, essentially clowns.
I was contacted by Master K's Protégé several months ago to come attend the class Joe Stein was reviewing. I have worked with Master K several times as a rope bottom model for images for his beautiful book, The Beauty of Kin Baku. I am a big fan of Master K's work and it was an honor to work with Him on this project. Master K was the first Person to put Me in a Japanese style rope suspension. Every time I have been in rope it has been for a photo shoot or a performance. I do bottom as a model on occasion, especially if it includes rope. It is a special love for Me and has nothing to do with D/s in My mind and everything to do with an ancient erotic art that provides Me with a special kind of release. I was pleased to model for Master K for this article as a favor to Someone I admire. My impression of Joe Stein and his wife was pleasant enough in person. They didn't say much and spent a lot of time looking at a book, sitting very close together on the couch. We had come together in a lovely hotel in Little Tokyo, Downtown LA. It's the kind of place that looks like it was made for a rope artist. The rooms are simple but comfortable, with rice paper shades for the windows and plenty of open space to tie in. The rooms look out onto a gorgeous Japanese style garden, flowers, fish ponds and winding paths. Upstairs is a traditional Japanese restaurant, delicious food served by mature women in kimonos. Anyone with an ounce of humanity could see that Master K was very accommodating to the journalist and his wife. I have not talked with Master K about the article. From My knowledge of Master K it was pretty amazing that He allowed the journalist to attend. Although well known, Master K is very discreet and not into a media circus. I imagine He thought it would be a good way to educate on His art form.
Joe Stein was less than kind to a Man who went out of His way to be a good Host. "Master K is one of those people who call every time you e-mail them to go over lots of unnecessary details and who give you lots of historical perspective; I felt like I was in the 1980s with a guy who saw Shogun and then read a bunch of books about the samurai he just had to talk about. He said, about ten times, that kinbaku—Japanese bondage—was an erotic art based on a martial art and was “sophisticated” and “not misogynistic.” We met him at a hotel downtown that looked like it was built in the 1980s by a guy who saw Shogun and then read a bunch of books about the samurai. Cassandra and I got there early and waited in the lobby, where we were certain that this one guy who could double as the lead singer of Judas Priest was Master K."
I'll admit, he has a way with words, but unfortunately that is not accompanied by empathy or instinct. His vicious little description of Myself, "and the punky one with dyed-red hair stretched out like she was about to run the 400. After we started talking, she told me that she was Mistress Soma, a professional dominatrix. I would not have guessed. Though I wouldn’t have guessed nun, either." Clearly fact checking is not one of his strong I would never refer to Myself as "Mistress" or a "professional dominatrix". I introduced Myself as Goddess Soma, a Lifestyle and Pro Domina and fetish model. I love how he took the time to scoff at My stretching before being tied. He mentioned it at the time and I explained to him that you should always stretch your body before going into rope as a safety precaution. He also told Me at the time that he was off to Passive Arts next to have a session with a FemDomme. He was fairly soft spoken and seemed like a pleasant enough man, with a slight sarcastic lift of his brow he asked, "Should I be frightened?" I said, "Yes. Very."
His description of his session made Me believe he didn't have any desire to enjoy it. Or maybe he did enjoy it but doesn't want his wife to know....
His ending was self deprecating and funny, "What I did learn was that I’m in the middle of the bell curve of sexual normality; I’m a man who would bore Alfred Kinsey. I just thought I was more open-minded than I am because, unlike most people, I love to talk about this kind of thing."
My instinct tells Me Joe Stein likes to do more than "talk about this kind of thing". I think an attraction to BDSM and the erotic arts often means there is a hidden kink yet to be discovered. Maybe Joe Stein just hasn't discovered his. It is unfortunate he had to paint O/our community in a bad light in his little journey. It's unfortunate he didn't take this opportunity to try to understand O/our world before turning it into a sideshow freak act. It is unfortunate that what to him was humor, is damaging to U/us. It's unfortunate his cock didn't get hard much more along the way. But then...at least he still has his "Fleshlight"...

Vote for Me!
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Please visit me and vote for my sets at: http://zivity.com/models/SomaSnakeoil
There is a place on the page to get a
free trial!

What Kind of slave are you?
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This is a tool I have been using lately to get a basic outline for what kind of slave/submissive My pets are. This was adopted from Miss Abernathy's Erotic Slavehood and modified to reflect My name (Goddess). This is something that I have found very useful and want to share with O/others. If you are a slave applicant or slave under consideration for My household please feel free to fill this out and send it to Me.


Exercise: you are a live in slave, serving your ideal Dominant. What would your life be like? Choose the answers that most closely fit your dream.

1. It’s 6 a.m. .i am suddenly awakened by…
a.Goddess’s bell
b.Goddess’s foot
c.The alarm clock
d.The wake-up call

2. It’s time to get dressed. i put on…
a. my uniform
b. nothing
c. an apron
d. a suit

3. It’s a busy day. i spend the morning…
a. mending Goddess’s riding breeches
b. pleasuring Goddess
c. cleaning the hall closet
d. attending to Goddess as She tours the city.

4. Time for lunch! .i eat…
a. in the sitting room
b. off Goddess’s boot
c.whenever i get a minute
d. in a nice little café Goddess likes

5. The best thing about being a slave is…
a. being close to Goddess
b. the sex
c. feeling useful
d. experiencing new things

6. my strong point is…
a. my knowledge of fashion
b. my sex appeal
c. my organizational skills
d. my people skills

7. The hardest part about being a slave is…
a. finding time to keep myself looking good
b. getting my intellectual needs met
c.the details, all the little details
d. being on show all the time

8. After dinner...
a. Goddess reads the paper while i polish Her shoes.
b. W/we retire to the boudoir
c. i do the dishes
d. W/we’re off to the theatre.

9. Time for bed. i must…
a. Lay out Goddess’s outfit for tomorrow.
b. Make myself available in case Goddess wants a massage.
c. Review tomorrow’s menu.
d. Get some sleep after pleasuring Goddess. i’ve got to look my best.

10. i dream about…
a. being allowed to accompany Goddess on a drive.
b. The day Goddess lets me masturbate for Her.
c. A nice long bubble bath and an intimate evening with Goddess.
d. Just staying home for the weekend and relaxing.

Now, count the number of times you answered A B C or D. Does any letter predominate? If so, you may have a natural specialty, as explained below. If your answers fall consistently into two categories, you may be attracted to two related or complementary roles. If your answers varied, you may be best suited for more general service, or you may still discover another specialty we have not covered here. Finally, if you notice that you never chose a specific letter, you may feel less enthusiastic about a particular type of service. It is still to your benefit to learn something about that specialty so that your training will be well-rounded.

If you chose mostly A’s, you may be a good body servant (lady’s maid or valet). you value intimacy with dominant above all else. you are aware of the importance of your physical appearance, and you like to help others look their best. you like personal attention from the dominant and are proud of any trust She places in you. you are the most comfortable serving at home, although you enjoy it when guests come visit because it gives you a chance to display your pretty manners. If you also had a number of B answers, you may also enjoy sexual service or Victorian scenarios. If you answered C to several questions, you might be a good all-around housekeeper, especially in a small home. If you answered D to some questions, you might like to travel with the Dominant as a personal secretary or escort.
If you answered mostly B’s, you are probably most interested in being a sex slave. you are a highly sexual person with considerable stamina, and you pride yourself on your sexual technique. While most slaves enjoy some sexual attention, the erotic side of slavehood is your main focus. you may be willing to perform some domestic service tasks, especially if you are rewarded with some privilege of pleasuring your Dominant. If you had some A answers, you might consider learning about massage or makeup application to complement your sexual skills. If you had some C answers, you might want to include more household management as part of your training. If you had some D answers, you may want to focus on your conversation skills to become an escort.
If you chose mostly C’s, you are best suited to be a housekeeper and/or cook. you are very organized and have considerable household management skills. you are comfortable dealing with visitors and shopping for the households needs, but you’re just as happy behind the scenes. you don’t need very much personal attention and are a self-starter. you derive the greatest satisfaction from attending to the Dominants needs in a quiet, unobtrusive way. If you had some A answers, you may want to be closer to your dominant and help with some personal care. If you had some B answers, you may fantasize about being used sexually while in the middle of another task. If you had some D answers, you may also have the makings of an excellent personal secretary.
If you had mostly D’s, you want to be an escort. you have an attractive personality and excellent communication skills. you enjoy meeting new people and serving in public. you don’t mind if some people think you are the Dominant’s lover; the T/two of Y/you know the truth about Y/your relationship. Besides, you’re very discreet. If you also had some A answers, you may enjoy a more formal role, at least at home or in private. A few B answers indicate that you would enjoy attending the Dominant at BDSM functions and joining in the fun yourself. If you have some C answers, you’d be an excellent butler or secretary.


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